Penny Post #40: A Deeper Well
Inspired by Kacey Musgraves’ newest release Deeper Well, the following:
My well used to be pretty shallow. It sat in the garden of my mind, unassuming and oblivious. I would journey through the meadows and the dense clouds every once in a awhile to reach it. I would dip my palms into the well, soak them in the reservoir of creative inspiration, and bring them to my lips. Word after word, sentence after sentence, penny post after penny post. I trusted that once I took its nutrients and meaning, the well would replenish in time for my next visit. Shallow enough; I could see the bottom then.
Time moved. I left my job. I decided to fully commit to journeying to this well every single day regardless of the weather brewing between my two ears. Every time I visited the well, it descended deeper into the Earth. I no longer could find the bottom. I bent at the waist and dipped a bucket below the surface, greedy for as much as I could gather at once. I thirstily gulped as much of that water as possible. It soaked my hands and my chin and my chest. The deeper well did not disappoint.
And then the well deepened once again. No longer would just a bucket sustain my thirst. I built a lever and pulley that would lower an even bigger bucket to collect as much of the water as possible. I was desperate for even a sip. This worked for awhile, and then the well deepened again.
The depth of the well meant I could only hear the echoes of my screams as they rippled the water’s surface. Nothing else besides the slight glint of a copper penny amidst the darkness below. The water that would deliver me to creativity was farther from reach. My only hope was to throw myself in, as if a penny collecting luck and hope on the way down.
I submerged.
My writing is my well, which is deeper now than ever. Most of the time, I’m scared of what I might find below. Most of the time, I’m afraid I will drown trying to find the idea, the word, the metaphor that will deliver me something like this, or this, or this.
Yet, all of the time, I’m grateful for those who’ve thrown pennies into my deepening well. They are a subtle reminder that the work of submerging, of surrender, is valuable. The copper glint at the bottom of my well delivers me hope, reminds me that there is a ground and I can walk on it.
It is true that A Penny For My Thoughts was a phrase that spurred deep vulnerability among my closest friends and me, yet it is also true that pennies since have been my insights, wisdom, and untouched treasures that I’ve deemed valuable for this small but mighty audience. I send something to your inbox - an essay, a poem, a gratitude journal - hoping it might engage your thirst too.
In honor of A Penny For My Thoughts one year anniversary, I’m offering the following discount:
If you have ever felt moved or even imperceptibly changed because of something I wrote, if you have ever found yourself thinking of something I wrote long after reading it, if you have ever felt the need to submerge with me, now is your chance to throw your penny into my well and wish me continued luck.
This offer must be redeemed by Thursday, February 15th, 2024, the official one year anniversary of APFMT.
I love you all.
Now, go listen:
Until next time,
Kiera