Karina Duffy on Getting Caught Between A Rock & A Hard Place
Blooming between a rock and a hard place.
Today's post is guest authored by a dear friend of mine, Karina Duffy. She shared this story with me a few weeks back and I thought its resonances would be well-suited to the “A Penny For My Thoughts” audience. All proceeds generated by this guest post will be donated to a cause close to Karina's heart: the Compassion Prison Project. The Compassion Prison Project's mission is to create trauma-informed prisons and communities that are educated in Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). If you wish to learn more, please visit their site linked above.
I have felt the urge to visit the Sequoia trees for quite some time now. A deep urge to hug a tree and a thirst for stillness amidst the trees’ ever flowing energy kept nagging my spirit, calling me to visit Sequoia National Park in Northern California.
At first, it was going to be a solo trip - a time for me to take a therapeutic long drive there and back and spend a few hours journaling and reading surrounded by the trees. But, after conversations with my parents, they believed it would be a safer trip if my dad were to accompany me on my quest.
My dad and I left early Saturday morning: our favorite coffee shop’s cold brew (mine!) and iced latte (dad’s!) in the cup holder, me behind the steering wheel, and dad comfortable with the passenger seat pulled all the way back, his long legs outstretched in front of him. We were ready. Dad was intentional about letting me have agency over how time was spent on the drive - we listened to podcasts and songs I wanted to listen to, we chatted, we had time in silence. It was lovely. But, as we were approaching the park, I asked him if he had any songs he wanted to play. He started to play unfamiliar country music, and I remember saying the short prayer in my mind “Lord, help me have openness to this music” since it was not what I was used to. As we were listening, one of the songs was called “Rock and A Hard Place.” I had no clue what that meant, so I asked my dad to explain the phrase. He said that a rock is hard, and a hard place is hard, so you don’t want to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. It means you are in a tough situation.
We had no plan for the day. My only goal was to just go to Sequoia and hug a tree, so anything else would surpass expectations. This allowed us to be intuitive and free to just let the day go as it needed to go. We decided to start with a point called Panoramic Point, well known for its view. Once we arrived there, we saw a path and decided to just walk down it. Why not? We were really just wandering. As we were walking down the path, I turned my head and saw an array of yellow flowers on the ground. I was immediately moved by their vibrant color and beauty. Since this was a time for pure mindfulness and intuition, I approached them. I thought to myself, “This is so interesting that these flowers are still able to grow with all of these rocks around them. These flowers are embedded in the rocks.”
It is like the song “Rock and A Hard Place.” These flowers are quite literally stuck between rocks. But how beautiful it is that life can still grow in between these rocks, that life is still able to grow in between a rock and a hard place. Even in a tough situation, there can still be so much life to meet you, to meet me.
So, I decided to then sit down by the rocks and the flowers and meditate on their beauty. I noticed that there were little bees and bugs that were gracefully landing on the flowers. I sat and just watched their sweet gentleness, and as I watched them, I wrote in my journal:
If you are caught between a rock and a hard place, so much can grow in the in between.
Let the bees come and nourish you. Let them pollinate.
They need nothing of you. Just let them in. They want to nourish you.
Who are the bees of your life? Who are those who want to come in to nourish you while you are caught between a rock and a hard place?
Think about all the shades of yellow waiting to be generated.
This sparked a deep moment of gratitude for the “bees” in my life - the wide array of people that love me and are supporting me as I navigate my position of being caught between a rock and a hard place. I’m being so nourished even when I feel stuck in the unknowing or in my head about decisions to make. How can I do a better job to recognize that and let these people in to keep nourishing me?
I would have never been able to come to this realization if it wasn’t for my dad accompanying me on this journey. A conversation in the car turned into a wandering adventure turned into seeing the flowers nuzzled in the rocks turned into profound gratitude and inspiration. It is kinda crazy to see how all these moments influence each other.
This event led me to believe that there is a real fruit in life to being less resistant. At first, I wanted to just do the trip alone to have supreme solitude and contemplation, so I was pretty resistant to having any companion. Being less resistant to how I wanted the trip to go opened up more space for solitude and contemplation. This drives me to believe that solitude can be achieved in companionship, but requires both people to have the same goal and respect for each other’s silence. My dad’s companionship did not take away from my solitude; it enhanced the insight of what I could reach in my silence. Yet, it was required of both of us to allow each other the space to be silent.
It is remarkable how openness to the moment allows the Divine to inspire and lead one’s body and heart to the place they need. While I am currently caught between a rock and a hard place, I have taken great peace in the ways I am being nourished and the growth that I may not recognize that is blooming within.
If you are interested in writing a guest post for “A Penny For My Thoughts,” please respond to this email or comment below. I want this to be a collaborative space! Happy to receive your wisdom.